August 12, 2023 Issue, Page 5 of 8

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August 12, 2023 Activities ‘The Elk City News - 5 Six Years On, Widow Can’t QIPLEY’S Believe It or Not! Let Go Of Husband | Bric Kiteurn Je. is A1H-vear-olp with size 2S Feet! In March 2OZZ, Unver Armour ward. My friend seems stuck good friends invited my wife OFFERED TO DESIGN A CUSTOM PAIR OF GNEAKERS Dear Abby in the role of grieving widow. and meto join them at a high- FOR HIM — THEY WILL BE THE BIGGEST SHOES EVER I don’t mean to be insensitive end restaurant. We agreed. MADE BY THE DEAR ABBY: I have a dear to losing a life partner, but I We had a good dinner and an ComPANy! friend whose husband passed worry about her mental state. enjoyable evening. When our CASTANO away six years ago. They had a Please advise what I can say separate checks arrived, our 45-year marriage with plenty or do to help her. - DOESN'T friends paid theirs with a gift of ups and downs. She’s 81 and SEEM NORMAL IN CALIFOR- card. Ours was a whopper, and in excellent health. You would think she was 60 if you met NIA the reason they wanted to eat her. She is very youthful and there became quite obvious. I full of energy. DEAR DOESN'T: I am rela- was annoyed because I felt our tively new to the grieving expe- friends should have applied The problem is, when I'm with her she constantly talks rience, having lost my husband their gift card to the entire 3 1/2 years ago, but allow me bill, and we would then split Bccorvine TO A SURVEY OF about her late husbandas ifhe’s 2,000 Pet OWNERS, still with us: “Oh, Joe would to share some insight. The ad- it. My wife says we had a nice age that there is no timetable evening and I shouldn't feel GEN Z wouLp RATHER love this,” “Joe always said ...,” SPEND MONEY ON THEIR “Joe would say ...,” etc. During for grieving is accurate. Some miffed, butI still think we were PET THAN ON THEIR, one luncheon, she mentioned widows and widowers are able treated poorly. What are your PARTNER! him 20 times as if he were sit- to move on quickly. For others, thoughts about this? - HEFTY ting with us! In retrospect, her it takes along time for the ache BILL IN THE SOUTH marriage now seems to have to subside, and their spouse become the greatest love story pops into their consciousness DEAR HEFTY BILL: It would ever told, and Joe has risen to every day. If your friend needs have been gracious for your Doras ABE UNABLE sainthood. It’s unnerving. to idealize her “up and down” friends to have applied the gift Is this healthy behavior? It 45-year marriage, please don’t card universally. However, the seems excessive to me. On the rain on her parade. Let her en- two of you are good friends anniversary of his death, she joy the fantasy, if it is one. And, with this couple. You hada nice Sy 70 SMELL. says she’s “going to stay home when you know she’s going to time and enjoyed your meal. and be with Joe,” which trans- be depressed and crying on This is not something worth 8-12] lates to her being at home, those milestone anniversaries, nursing a grudge over, so let it alone, becoming depressed ask her out to lunch or dinner go. Crossword and crying, I hear how sad and so she won't be as isolated as emotionally drained she is af- she feels. If necessary, tell her Dear Abby is written by Abi- ACROSS terward. I am at a loss about that after such a great loss, it's gail Van Buren, also known 1 Muscle quality what to do, if anything. I offer no wonder she’s feeling awful, as Jeanne Phillips, and was 5 Condition a sympathetic ear, but shouldI AND SHE SHOULD MEN- founded by her mother, Pau- 10 Prov. in say anything to her, and if so, TION IT TO HER THERAPIST. line Phillips. Contact Dear Canada what? She has a grief coun- Abby at www.DearAbby.com or 14 Zenith selor, and I'm wondering if he’s DEAR ABBY: In lieu of a BO. Box 69440, Los Angeles, 15 Sound system really helping her move for- regular “pizza night,” some CA 90069. component 16 Encouraging ula Hey ys! y Fino? 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