August 5, 2023 Issue, Page 3 of 10

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August 5 The Elk City News -3 News Love Survive All: Beckham County woman recounts her brother’s journey through addiction and ultimate death to his “last time” using By Shonda Little providing a meal enables the even in that state, he would see next high). It’s hard not to see my yard needed to be mowed, (Editor's Note: This piece is the person you know they're and I would come home to him part of a joint series between the capable of being. mowing it. He was always try- Beckham County Record and Elk My brother is one of the ing to take care of me and my City News in an ongoing series on smartest people I know... just kids. He was always bringing the fentanyl and opiate pandemic wish he could see that, but the home little critters for them. in Beckham County.) addict lies to him. There is no telling how many Tm tough, like real tough, grilled cheeses he made for “If this only helps one per- but this broke me tonight. them through the years. But son, it will be worth sharing So, if you’ve made it this far he was also my first baby. I Melissa and brother Brandon with their family before Brandon’s death. Stout says that our story,” the grieving big sis- in my ramblings, I ask you to grew up with him on my hip her brother would have never intetionally put his family through the heartache of grief ter said. pray. Pray for the addicts you for as long as I could. I needed On August 4, 2019, Melissa know. Pray for those you walk to carry him one last time, as I Stout posted a long-form poem by in the grocery store. Pray had so many times in his life, times and even prison for a is even harder since my parents son struggling with this battle, about her little brother Bran- that they find their reason and and I knew this would be my bit. Because Mom and I have and my children go through it I say that there is always hope. don’s longtime struggle with their purpose in this world. last chance ever to do that. worked so long in law enforce- with me,” Stout admitted. “The Find the people who truly love drug addiction. Sometimes, that's praying that As much as I was in shock ment as dispatchers and com- anger isn’t really for Brandon,you, and keep walking through At the time, Brandon had they find their “rock bottom”. that morning, I had also been munications officers, we had but the situation. Should we it. Even if you stumble, get been battling drugs, which And pray for their families... preparing myself for this pos- a front-row seat for how the be mad the first time he did back up. For the families who started with pain pills and because they're all loved deeply sibility for years. All families system works. We have been the drug? Should we be mad love an addict, I know it is eventually expanded to indude by someone who is praying for who love addicts must wrestle on both sides, so knowing that at the people who gave it to hard. You have to keep love almost anything he could use their person back!” with that possibility because Brandon was in it was hard. him or even the people who and hope, too, though. There for over a decade. Stout says she saw that the danger is real. So, I was in But, there was also a relief created them in the first place is a thin line between love and Stout had just visited him visit was both triumphant and shock partly, but I also knew it anytime that he was in jail. I for profit? I can definitely say enabling. Sometimes it is hard in jail, and her heart sang as. terrifying because she knew was real. Our worst nightmare could sleep through the night that I have anger for the peo- to cut off the enabling because she saw the now sober, “real his addiction could pop back had come true, and all I needed knowing he was safe in jail and ple who have become rich off you worry so much. Bran- Brandon” bursting through the up at any time. was to be his big sister one last not in danger on the streets,” our misery, but I don’t know don did his best when he was shell of an addict who had been “It was hope and helpless time.” Stout remembered. how to make them really be forced to take care of himself keeping him captive inside. simultaneously,” Stout —re- But, above all the pain and Currently working as a dis- accountable and feel the pain and use his resources.” She wrote, “Y'all, this is the counted. “We knew it was as sometimes anger at his death, patcher in Roger Mills County, that their greed put upon us Stout added, “I also urge raw, unfiltered side of what it’s simple as him having a tooth- Stout first and foremost high- she says she has met many and so many others. All I can people to give recovering ad- like to love an addict. To some, ache that randomly popped up lights what a good person, son, families who share that same do now is focus on how lucky dicts a second chance when they're just another tweeker... or running into an old ‘friend’ brother, and uncle he was. sentiment for their incarcer- I was to have Brandon as my they are doing well. [know ina to others, that’s your brother. that didn’t have his best inter- “He cared for animals in a ated loved ones through the brother. The addict in him was small town that Brandon often ‘This is what it looks like when est at heart because they were way that only someone with years. a stranger and a person that I had a stigma around him that you finally get to see him af- in the struggle, too.” a great heart could,” Stout ex- Today, it has almost been didn’t like at all. But the addict would keep him from getting ter you haven’t seen your Her family’s worst fears plained. six months since Brandon lost wasn’t Brandon. The addict was a job. That wasn't very encour- brother is months. I mean, I've were realized on March 5, Stout says his battles with his final battle with the drug just something that took over aging to him. It would make seen him, but y'all that addict 2023, when Brandon was addiction came early in life that derailed half his life. Stout from time to time and stole him wonder what the point isn’t my brother. The addict found dead in his bed. during his teenage years. says she and her parents are him from us. Brandon himself even was, and that would lead avoids me at all costs because At the time, he was in drug “We first learned that there currently working through the was a ray of sunshine. He could to depression. You may save it doesn’t like that I can see court, and his family had been was a big problem when he was anger phase of grief. make me laugh in ways that no someone's life by giving them through it. It consumes every optimistic that this might be about 17. He got arrested and “Grief is the worst thing I one ever will again. He was my a chance ata job.” part of my brother that I know. the “last time.” ended up in drug court. Judge have ever been through, and it first real friend. For any per- It creates the tallest, stron- Instead, he was lost to Haught said at the time that gest walls around that person them forever — another vic- he was one of the first people tim of the opiate and fentanyl who went through the full pro- “Big Elk’ I know is in there. Tonight, I saw him, and who knows when epidemic. gram with no sanctions, which that'll happen again & it broke Brandon was only 36 years is pretty rare. So, we knew he my heart. My best friend is still old. wanted to get better,” Stout ex- in there, and while I hate the Stout insisted that she be plained. addict, I love my brother. the one to carry his lifeless However, the relapses con- My brother is the biggest- body to the ambulance. tinued to happen. Eventually, hearted, most loving, funniest “He was only two years and his pain pill addiction led to Heritage Award person I've ever seen...but that four days younger than me,” fentanyl, heroin, and metham- addict is ugly to its core. she smiled softly. “He took care phetamine. The combination is This is the stuff that kills of me a lot when he could as often deadly. you as their family on the in- adults. For example, he could “I think I took him to six re- side and causes enabling...be- walk by the house — and I'm habs in total, and I would have cause all you want is the best sure sometimes that walking happily taken him to number Presented to for them (and sometimes even was to find or get drugs. But, seven. He went to jail several Providing comfort and Support,for End of Life cholces Hospice care provides medical services, emotional support, and spiritual re- sources for people who are in the last stages of a serious illness, such as cancer or heart failure. 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