April 7, 2021 Issue, Page 8 of 10

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8 April 7, 2021 Activities Loving relationship stops short of intimacy Dear Abby battling cancer, my husband vanished into thin air with all an adult child with a drug ad- diction. Sometimes when we our money. It has been years DEAR ABBY: I recently met are together, this child will call now, and we finally were di- a man, and I have fallen in love begging for money. My friend vorced, but I have never been with him. He says he feels the gives in every time. She feels able to get over what he did to same way and tells me often me. Talking to professionals terrible about doing it but can’t that I treat him better than helped some, but I still wonder anybody ever has. seem to say no. She has attend- what happened. Unfortunately, when the We were together for 20 ed several Nar-Anon meetings, time came to move our rela- years. I was left in a remote but no longer wants to go be- tionship to an intimate level, part of Alaska to fend for cause she says it’s depressing. I found my attraction to him myself when I could hardly was one-sided. When I asked As a friend, what’s the best way get around after the surgery him why, he said he did not and radiation treatments. It’s to support her? -- HER CAR- find me desirable because of like he wanted me dead. How ING FRIEND my weight. He also mentioned can I possibly get over what I that in the past he had always thought was the love of my DEAR FRIEND: Although dated “Barbie dolls” who did life? -- CAN’T LET GO him wrong, so he decided to those meetings may be “de- look for something different, DEAR CAN’T LET GO: Your pressing,” they can also be en- and that’s when he found me. husband may have been the lightening if someone is open I don’t understand how you love of your life, but the love of to it. Point out to your friend can love someone and not HIS life was ... him. That he not desire them. What are your that even MORE depressing only ran when the chips were thoughts? -- ONE-SIDED IN down but cleaned out the bank would be losing a child to ad- TEXAS account, leaving you battling diction and knowing that she a life-threatening illness, was was the enabler. Then volun- DEAR ONE-SIDED: This beyond the pale. Why he did it teer to attend meetings with man may love your many attri- was fear, weakness and lack of butes -- intelligence, honesty, character. your friend until she gains the sense of humor, etc. -- but he Having prevailed over cancer strength to act responsibly. is not IN love. If you want a ro- mantic relationship, you need and poverty, getting over your Crossword ex should be a cinch. Howev- Dear Abby is written by Abi- to find someone who values er, finding the ability to trust you for YOURSELF -- inside again may be another matter, gail Van Buren, also known and out. Give him marks for as Jeanne Phillips, and was Current puzzle answers and no one would blame you honesty and send him back to if you couldn’t do it. An im- founded by her mother, Pau- his Barbie dolls because you portant step forward might be line Phillips. Contact Dear deserve better, and he de- more counseling to help you Abby at www.DearAbby.com or serves more of the same. cope. P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, DEAR ABBY: While I was DEAR ABBY: My friend has CA 90069. Get Fuzzy Garfield Dilbert Drabble Dailies Pearls Before Swine