November 4, 2020 Issue, Page 9 of 12

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November 4, 2020 Activities Recently married woman can’t Bayes_~Believe It or Not’ stomach husband’s negativity tostart. know shewill get mad Dear Abby it even worth it? -- SECOND THOUGHTS IN CALIFORNIA and I don’t think she would tell DEAR ABBY: I am a 39-year- me the truth. A lot of things DEAR SECOND go along with these feelings, old woman who has been in THOUGHTS: There is some- a relationship for five years which is part of why it bothers and married for two. Abby, thing you can do, and I sincere- me so much. I probably need to I am consumed with regret ly hope you will take it to heart. just let it go, but it continues to for marrying this man. He's Recognize that “pouting, tem- haunt me. We have been mar- loyal and has a good job, but per tantrums, condescension and (constant) negativity” is ried a long time and have had he spends most of our money hostile and abusive. I am glad on food (eating out at work, our share of problems. How your husband is receiving pro- do I get past this? Any help or drinking expensive beers, buy- fessional help to improve his ing tools, etc.) and he is prob- behavior and attitude. Now it's guidance would be greatly ap- Distributed by Andrews McMeel for UFS, ably the most negative person preciated. - NOT MEASUR- time for you to do the same. If I know. His negativity is so you do, it will help you to clear ING UP IN ALABAMA overwhelming it has pulled me your head and your soul. It will down closer to his level than also give you deeper insight DEAR NOT MEASUR- where I started when we met. into whether this is worth it. ING UP: What, exactly, is the I feel trapped. I don’t want PS. Saving your marriage “truth” you are afraid your wife to be single at 40, and I know will conceal if you bring this will have to be a joint effort. somewhere in there I love him, This is not something you can out in the open? If she thought so I'm working on my own en- do on your own. ergy so it won't affect me so you couldn't satisfy her needs, she wouldn’t have married NEANDERTHALS. much. He just makes every- DEAR ABBY: I've been deal- MASS -PRODUCED TOOLS IN ALEBEHISTORIG thing so miserable with his at- ing with some emotional stress you. The question I would “FACTORY” 60,000 ‘YEARS AGO. titude. He exudes bad energy. for well overa year. I've recent- like answered is where those werngocomies.com He pouts, throws temper tan- ly found out my wife's ex was old photos were when you trums, is rude, condescending, much more well-endowed than stumbled across them. Were and EVERYONE around him I am. I understand that’s not you going through her belong- can feel his bad moods. He has the most important thing, but ings because you feel insecure only recently started therapy it is messing with me mentally. about things other than your ACROSS and I want to be patient, but One reason is, a long time ago anatomy? 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